kcjonez.com

Doing some site maintenance as I was having some issues with the script.<br /><br />For some reason, session values weren't being passed between pages like they're supposed to. I went over, and over the script, trying to find out what the hell could be happening, but I wasn't able to find a thing!<br /><br />So, I contacted my hosting service to see if they had changed my version of PHP. They hadn't.<br /> <br />I started searching the forums to see if there was some sort of new issue with the version of PHP I use. Didn't find any...I did find about 8 different ways to start the sessions though! Tried them all and nothing worked.<br /><br />I was about ready to give up on it, when all of the sudden, it began to work! And I have no clue what dafug happened! The only thing I can come closet guessing, is that the tech I spoke with, at my hosting service, sent the issue up to the higher level techs, or he left the right notes (for a change), and the higher techs read them and fixed it.<br /><br />Whatever. It works now! ;)<br /><br /> Other than that, no real updates from the last one. My doc is putting me on a med that should help me to lose weight!!! It's a med that reduces the amount of glucose intake and production; meant for people with pre-diabetes and/or diabetes. Last time we did a blood test, I was pre-diabetic. So, this should be a good thing!<br /><br />I have been trying to get back on testosterone treatment, so that I have enough energy to get off of my zero-energy, lazy, good for nothing ass! But some of my levels are too high, and I would basically be committing suicide. I am already at a very high risk of having a heart attack, stroke, pulmonary embolism, or aneurysm. My extremely low T-levels are the only thing keeping me alive! Not that I care either way, but that's a story for another place and time.<br /><br />I'm going to see <a href="https://dreamtheater.net" target="_blank">Dream Theater</a> on Thursday!!! Yay fucking ME!!! I bought two tickets, and have been having a hell of a time finding someone to go with me! I refuse to take anyone who doesn't know who DT is, and who doesn't love the band! I really don't have friends these days, since I don't ever leave my home, so the picking have been slim! BUT! I don't know why I didn't think of it earlier, but my Nephew has been trying to get me to spend time with him for YEARS! And he knows DT! My damn nephew had BETTER know who DT is!! So, I'm taking him with me, and it should be a blast and a half!! I can't wait!!! I'll definitely share the experience on here after the show!!!<br /><br />That's about it for today...this month. Check back this coming Friday and read about the show! I might even post some killer vid of Petrooch, since my seats are front row and directly in front of where he stands!!!!! It's gonna be awesome!!!

That little spark that I see, on occasion, wasn't a cataract after all! It was coming from my guitars I have hanging on my wall!<br /> <br /> I've been wanting to play so, SO bad lately, but when I look at one of them, I get this sort of ill feeling. It's hard to describe, sort of like an anxiety/dread feeling that makes me want to curl up in a fetal position and suck my thumb while crying for my mommy! Apparently I have some serious PTSD from the druggie days, being forced to play all the time. I'm 16 years clean & sober, and I have no issue with the drug part of the ordeal. But, the things that happened while I was on drugs is what seems to haunt me.<br /> <br /> I have been seeing a therapist ever since I lost my amazingly beautiful little Erin, and he has helped me get through some seriously difficult times. It looks as if I need to bring this one up to him as well. Music was my life! It was my salvation! All I wanted to do was play my guitar and write music! Any problems I ever had (and I had far too many for one person to handle), I would just...play! Or write a song. It all seems to be gone now, and when I want to pick it up again, I have panic attacks! All because some very evil fucker decided he was going to own me, like some show-off object! I mean, I liked the guy to an extent, and he always tried being cool with me. But, deep down, I hated the dude with a passion! I felt so trapped, though. I was so embarrassed to be doing drugs at the time, and I had this fear of the world! I could have just ran to my parent's place to get away and sober up, but I was mortified of them finding out I was on drugs again! Thank God I had the strength to escape when I did!<br /> <br /> However, the three to four years I spent destroying my brain cell has stuck with me, and I have nightmares to this day; 16 years later! I have just never had the ability to just let things go! Erin taught me how to not hold on to grudges, but I don't forget.<br /> <br /> Anyway, I finally got the nerve to pick up my 7-string today for a few! YAY ME! Well, not really yay me...I'm SOOO sloppy!!! It's all still there, I don't thin that will ever go away! It would just take me a month of playing every day to get my picking back in shape again so that I can play clean. That may never happen again, unfortunately. I may be too damaged to ever play again on a regular basis.<br /> <br /> I did make a promise to myself, many moons ago, to never get rid of my music gear, and I have held true to that promise! I still have a crapload of equipment at my apartment, and about an apartment's worth of gear in storage! I'll most likely take it all to my grave and leave it to my kids when I croak. Hopefully I'll be able to teach them how to play the different instruments so they can form their own little Brady Bunch! lol I don't have much, but at least I'll have <em>SOMETHING</em> to give them before I croak!<br /> <br /> That's it. I really just wanted to mention that I picked up a guitar today for the first time in who knows how long, but the older I get, the more difficult it becomes to shut me the hayall up! haha<br /> <br /> Till next time...